♥Ayumi Hamasaki♥

Sunday, October 05, 2008

feelin damn sian now..bking in like a few hrs time..the feelin really sucks..noeing tt u'll b returnin to the "cursed isle" where things happen for no damn apparent reason..kena punished for no reason..being made to do exercise even after a damn freakin tiring day while other platoons r resting..sucks like shit man..juz wish these 2yrs will juz go by..fly by..best still..teleport by if possible..

it always seems tt i will go into an emo mood on bk in day..duno y..the feelin juz feels damn *bleahx*..duno how to describe it..feel like cryin? dying? juz cant b bothered? its juz so many emotions at once..quite "explosive" feelin actually..i miss the freedom i use to hav..or rather..im longing for tt freedom i use to hav..really really really hope tt i'll get an 8-5 vocation..it juz kills me to b like a "chalet" yet not "chalet" place..irks..u r expected to know everything from like 50% info and when u ask u r told u'll b briefed later (which nv happens) or u r told to use ur common sense -_- den when things not done to expectations..u kena punished..stoopid aint it? n moreover..smth happened during tis wk..where we were "accused" of smth we did not do..we r already doin our best..den smth happened to our comrade..n we r blamed for it when the punishment was not smth we asked for..long story short..i felt really angry n wronged! stoopid..guess its true..some ppl there lost their heart somewhere in the jungle! u wana motivate us? DO IT ANOTHER WAY! NOT BY MAKIN US FEEL GUILTY! bleahx..main thing..tekong sucks..army sucks..NS sucks..

but to tink of it..3wks hav come n gone..ppl say it fast..i kinda agree..yet the duration to get thru it felt longer than tt..well..on the positive note..3wks r gone..10more wks to POP..cant wait for 9/12/08..but im sooo NOT lookin forward to field camp..no bath for days..powder bath only..i tink i'll die >_< crappy shit man..wadeva..aniwae..gotta go pack for shitty army now..cant wait for the next bk out..

~can i travel thru a time machine?~

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

freedom? wad is freedom? according to answers.com ---> http://www.answers.com/freedom ......sigh...i wish i could juz wake up 2find tt i juz awoke from a long sleep..a long long 2yr sleep..n find tt my army days r over..if only i could..17days in tekong wasnt fun at all..missin home n all..n well..2nite im goin in again..but will b out on sat..hopefully..unless smth horribly goes wrong..which we all certainly hope not..

2wks r over..another 11wks to end of BMT..*sigh*..i wan outta army..

~i juz wan my freedom back..~

Friday, September 12, 2008

the dreaded day has arrived..in juz another 7hrs i hav to report to pasir ris interchange to b sent off to an offshore island where "boys become men" (wad a load of nonsense though)..bleahx..filled with emotions now..sad..frustrated..sian 0.5..scared (cuz i duno wad to expect in tis new chapt in life)..happy (well very slight cuz my consolation is to go there n lose weight)..

its been really fast tt time flew by..i grad from poly..den worked awhile..n nxt thing i knew its my day of enlistment..sigh..i wish i could juz sleep and wake up to find myself 2yrs into the future..n tt everything tt im goin thru now is juz a dream of my past..o well..back to reality..i hav to face 2yrs of tis nonsense head-on..although it has disrupted my plan to go into NAFA..but i wun let it hinder my dream..I MUST PLAY MY GUZHENG WELL (although i juz started out) AND GET INTO NAFA! afterwhich..I WILL PLAY MY MUSIC..SPREAD MY MUSIC..N TOUCH THE HEART OF PPL..i wun let some silly 2yrs nonsense take away my dream..

aniwae..havent been bloggin here cuz i found somewhere else quite fun n interesting..machiam bloggin..plurking! hahax..go here --> www.plurk.com
if u join as a member..add me! my nick is seraphicwings..hahax..

aniwae..i better go n sleep..hav to wake up early tml..for its a start of a whole new chapter for me..until den..good nite..

~life? dreams? i wun let any obstacles in life to block me from my dreams..~

Saturday, August 09, 2008

hahax..yea haox i noe i haben posted awhile..hahax..juz saw my tagboard XD bleahx..keep wanted to blog but like i at work abit hard to type away on tis screen here..den when i reach home im already halfdead..n i had enuf of the com..so ppl..if u dun c me online juz try to offline msg me..i may or may not b there..

aniwae..CONCERT COMIN UP ON 17TH AUG!! *EXCITED* but only thing is that im dying with the cheena-ness n the crazy tongue twistin chinese songs..u can go youtube and check out on Yellow River Cantata..yes..we are singing that song with 5 other choirs..really good exp for me cuz i can kinda feel the pain n sorrow of the Chinese people when the Jap army invaded China during World War II..sigh..such a hard life they led during war..soooo LETS LEARN TO LOVE MORE AND FIGHT LESS PEOPLE N MAKE THE DREAM OF WORLD PEACE COME TRUE!! (i feel like Miss Universe suddenly XD)

however..during the pracs i get really pissed off cuz for some funny reason it seems that age does not go along with exp and performin standard or smth -_- its really pissifying (yes i made tt word up) when ppl cannot folo the conductor or juz forget posture in singin or forget performin instructions given during previous pracs..*rants on* i really dun understand!! n im here puttin in my energy in reachin those high notes only to end up wastin my energy cuz somebody screws up..bleahx..den im left gaspin for air T_T gets on my nerves lo..its already hard to put urself into the shoes of the World War II Chinese cuz we r from a totally different era and nationality in all..although race is the same la XD bleahx..den when there are mistakes..i can c tt the conductor damn tu lan..but he tries his best to keep his cool n say our mistakes in a jokin way..hats off to u lao shi..argh..wadeva..im gona do my best n my part n hopefully on the performance day itself everyone will do tt and make the concert a success..

o well..but in any case..it should b enjoyable..as any concerts i performed or attended..JIAYOU MR CONDUCTOR! i noe handling 6 choirs and 2pianos aint gonna b easy! lolx..

~CHINESE WORDS!! *SCREAM*~

Thursday, July 10, 2008

time for some pondering n reality check during the remainin few mins of my lunch break (yes..now i hav to work in the freakin mornin..damn office tasks..) so i juz read cle's blog..but the business world being 2-faced n stuff..well..aint the world like tt? in order to survive..we hav to like put up a facade n juz do stuffs in the office even if we dun like it? thank goodness i could experience life in a lab during my internship (which i can live by very painfully cuz repeatin experiments day after day aint fun along with the reports n stuffs..) and while workin here in NLB office..n now i can truely say tt..I CANNOT LIVE IN AN OFFICE ENVIRONMENT!! hats off to u office ppl!! i really duno how u guys can sit in front of a com n juz stare away n type type type..n do all those miscellaneous (not to say "dislike-able") tasks..bleahx..

so back again..all the more i will go to NAFA..life aint gonna b easy unless i make it "big" n become a well-known musician or smth..if not i must hav a good number of students to teach..oh well..at least i enjoy wad i aspire to do..music juz touches the heart..doesnt it? its all humanistic n enriching..lolx..lets hope Singapore will start to boom in the arts industry..i need more freedom than juz sittin at a desk or in a lab..i'd rather practice a piece for like hrs over n over than to sit in a lab or an office for like a few mins..i really mean it..tts how much i dislike n startin to dislike workin in a lab or an office..

o well..lemme start gettin back to work..BLEAHX..NICK!! TAHAN!! TAHAN!! JUST TILL END OF AUG N U'LL B FREE FROM OFFICE WORK!! MWAHAHAH!! (den after which i'll lose my freedom to the nation..kns -_- noooooooooooooooooooo..)

~So i say..thank you for the music..for givin it to me..(ABBA)~

Thursday, June 26, 2008

been tinkin actually..cuz..for the past 2wks or so..i hav seen, heard, pass by or wadeva..main thing..i indirectly encountered alot of events abt ppl passin on..n it struck me..the fragility of life..(tis post abit emo i noe..hahax..paiseh..but i woke up to a conclusion is life)

we all hav goals in life..yet there will always b obstacles blockin us..like my sudden dream to pursue music..my dad tinks i wasted 3yrs of my life in poly if i were to pursue music..my mom tinks its juz gonna b a hard life teachin music in future..she sounds neutral..but..i noe she aint too keen on tt idea..*sigh* but den again..i rmbed tt its my life here and im here to lead it..no matter wad happens its all in my hands..my destiny is for me to form and control and not the other way round..

so i woke up to tt resolution..i shall live my day to the fullest everyday..in the sense tt im happy..do wad i wan and not wad others wan me to do (i dun mean not fulfillin tasks given in a job..) lets live our lives the way we wan it..the way which we r happy..so that the happiness can rub onto others and the happiness will spread eventually..

~death is inevitable..yet..life is eternal..~

Monday, June 02, 2008

OK..TIS IS OFFICIAL!! hhax..i'll b goin for my 1st COSPLAY in the 1st wkend of july..hahax..i'll b goin with charmaine as Marluxia and she is goin as Zexion..lolx..they are characters from Organization 13 from Kingdom Hearts..OMG!! IM SOOOO EXCITED!! HAHAX..but it'll b a hole in pocket again *sobz*..u wana noe how they look like..pls go google it..hahax..paiseh..cuz after bad experiences with uploadin photos into my blog..i got sooo pissed tt i got lazy to upload pixes le..hahax..ok i shant b so bad..i'll put the search results for google here..hahax..

Marluxia: http://images.google.com.sg/images?um=1&hl=en&q=Marluxia

Zexion: http://images.google.com.sg/images?um=1&hl=en&q=zexion

YAY!! im goin for my 1st cosplay event!! hahax..hope i dun die in the heat of the costume..hahax..possibly it has to b made out of PVC >_< unless i try to find synthetic leather..lolx..bleahx..but wadeva..I JUZ CANT WAIT!! HAHAX..now our wigs will b ordered n shippin after certain stuffs r ironed out..n VOILA!! time for costume makin!! XD

ok..time for me to slowly pack up..meetin shi min for dinner!! mata ne!~

~EXCITMENT!!~