i am very sick and tired of this shit..i hav been tryin to improve my life..tryin and tryin very hard..hoping things will improve..juz when things seems to go well..improving..i realised tt i missed something..and tt something juz destroys everything i hav pieced back..i am really tired..i am really sick and tired..i still hav the determination and perserverance to continue to try to piece things back 2gether..but i am juz so afriad tt things will go tt way again..i didnt expect the thing i missed to destroy everything..i am so afraid tt i will miss something out again..i feel like i am trapped in a vicious cycle.,i feel so lost..so confused..i dun understand y things always happen like this..is juz so unfair..y does it only happen to me? i try so hard to get things right..i try and try..only to find tt i was on the road to success when something juz knocks me off..i sound so repetitve..but tts wat i am really feelin now..i hav to meet my frenz with a face tt i am fine..cuz i dun wan them to worry abt me..it would juz get them involved..but inside i really feel like hell..i hav lost everything i noe..everything i needed..everything i wanted..Y DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?!?!
wat is happenin to me? am i under a hex? a jinx? am i being played upon by a higher power? or am i juz given a test? wth..if it is a test..can it be given with some breaks in between?!?! i am SICK AND TIRED!! i wana continue to take it on..i wana get past this test..but when i am done i only find tt i am either back at the start with a worse beginning or i finish juz to find another more painful test..i am sad..i am hurting..suffering..i am tired..i hav frenz who r there for me..but they only help me to get past the day..but they cant get these tots outta my head..i feel so empty..so lost..so confused..i hate my life now..WAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON?!?! CANT I JUZ GET PASS ONE TEST AND BE GIVEN A BREAK AND FEELIN HAPPY FOR A WHILE?!?! I HATE THIS!! I DUN WANA GO ON LIKE THIS..
if i dun get on with the test..i will juz be runnin away from MYSELF!! cuz i really wana pass this..i feel so confused..i wan to do the test but i fear there will be another worse one waiting..i am on the verge on breaking down..i find everything i do has no meaning..i pray but everything juz goes the other way..i try to stay optimistic..but i feel like my optimism is dying..i need to be saved from this..someone save me..i wana pass this test with flyin colours..i dun wana retake the test again..i wana make sure everything goes right..i dun wana screw up again..i am sick and tired of doin the same test..FUCK U WHOEVA IS PLAYIN WITH MY LIFE!! I DUN CARE IF U R A HIGHER POWER OR WATSOEVA!! U KEEP RUINING MY SCORE!! WHENEVA I NOE I AM GOIN TO PASS..U COME BY TO MAKE ME FAIL!! I HATE U!! STOP MAKIN MY LIFE SO MISERABLE!! LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN PASS THIS TEST AND EARN BACK WATS RIGHTFULLY MINE!! FUCK U IDIOT!! U BETTER DUN RUIN ANYTHING THIS TIME!! LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN DO THINGS RIGHT!! I WAN BACK WATS RIGHTFULLY MINE..................................
~on the verge on breakin down..giv me back wats mine..stop takin it away from me~
THE YOZ
YOYO!! This is moii blog!
yes its PINK..BUT..
WITH LOVELY AYU♥!!
Do tag so i noe u've been here ^_^
THE GUY
Name: Nicholas
Age: 19+
GRADUATE from Temasek Poly
Typical VIRGO..Wad u c is wad u get!
THE LOVEs & HATEs
Loves:
AYU!!!
MUSIC!!
Shopping
Hangin out with frenz
Hates:
SPIDERS!! EEKS!!
Backstabbers!!
People who love to step on my tail!!
THE WISHLIST
-Attend Ayu's concert in JAPAN!!
-Tour Japan!!
-Tour Taiwan
-Tour Korea
-Tour HK
-Own a Grandpiano
-Own a Guzheng
-Own a Saxophone
-Finish NS
-Get into NAFA
-Continue Music Theory Lessons
-Guzheng Lessons
-Buy new EARRING, HAVAIANAS, BAG, WHITE SKINNY JEANS, SHOES and BELT
